Family and Parenting

[Mother’s Day] The Dilemma of Being a New Mother

A new mother (Cher of Becoming Mummy) and I had a conversation over Facebook a while back. She said, “(The first year of motherhood is) like a dilemma. You want it to pass quickly but when it’s all over, you’ll miss it.”

It made me think back to when my wife and I went through our own first year with our son, particularly how we first managed to survive it, and now, thinking back, that if we were given an opportunity to do it all over again, we would jump at the chance in a heartbeat.

I told Cher, “That’s maternal instinct for you. The dilemma is at its core a battle between head and heart. The hardship is intellectually formulated through knowledge, experience and thinking, but the emotional joy is hardwired into your system as a mother. The conflict is inevitable, so your soul has to mediate.”

The first years of motherhood are a rite of passage for every mother, and my little conversation with Cher are words I hope resonates with all mothers. I dare say active dads will also understand, because parenthood manifests a wave of change so strong that its ripples hit both mother and father, forcefully, repeatedly, indefinitely; resistance is futile.

Sooner or later, we learn to ride with the wave. The important thing to remember, though, is that you have to ride it together as a team. Both mother and father.

Happy Mother’s Day weekend, everyone.

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