Everything Else

My wedding shoes cost $27 (my wife?s cost $22.50)

Leaves a lot to the imagination doesn’t it?

I’m not gonna go into any more detail except this psychological analysis of spending so freaking little on the most important shoes a couple may ever wear in their lifetimes.

Just think; if a couple, both in the middle-income bracket, are about to get married, logically the most important day of their lives should deserve a more impressive shoe receipt than our grand total of $49.50. So there can only be 3 plausible explanations why they should decide to invest in 2 pair of shoes dug up from the super-bargain corner of the thrift section of the wagon sales area of the cheapskates department of the budget shopping centre of this country most people identify with as a shopper’s paradise (personally I prefer Bangkok).

Explanation 1: They ran out of money from doing up their love nest; all their wedding money went into a 42″ HD-ready plasma TV with inbuilt hard drive recording function and a Nintendo Wii.

Explanation 2: Underneath their seemingly normal spending habits are 2 middle-aged misers that bought an executive flat to eventually hoard enough old clothes, newspapers, cardboard boxes and other people’s furniture to start their own Salvation Army thrift store (but they’re never selling anything away, NEVER!).

Explanation 3: Something’s up.

Find out on 20th July. Hopefully someone has a videocam, so at least it can go up on the Net.

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