Bitching,  Family and Parenting

What Are Fathers Good For?

Lots and lots and lots of things have been said about the mother’s role in the family, but it seems like dads prefer the silent warrior role, only appearing when called for or needed. My wife can very well give you a whole list of things I’m not good at, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and pre-empt her.

  1. I can cook, but after I’m done, the kitchen will look like a car workshop in mid-day.
  2. I can wash the dishes, but after I’m done, the kitchen (and I) will look like an East Coast Park BBQ gathering after a sudden heavy downpour and not enough time to save our belongings.
  3. I can do laundry, but after the washing machine is done, the clothes will almost never dry (see point 2).
  4. I can iron clothes. Just give me a day for every 4 shirts (seriously, I take about 6 hours per shirt; one disadvantage being an extra-large).
  5. I can pack up an area of the house, but after I’m done, another area just gets messier from the transference.

I do have other extremely important skills that I hope redeems my poor house-husbandry skills whenever it manifests.

  • My Ingrish velli good one choo noe. (Okay, so admittedly this isn’t a very useful trait, but I thought I’d just say it anyway.)
  • I’m funny (yes, it doesn’t show much here, but I’m working on that). My wife’s friends can always bank on me to get a few laughs over our personal FB walls (you can subscribe to mine by the way; it’s right here).
  • I’m a techie. That makes me indispensable for emergency home entertainment repairs/troubleshooting/rewiring across 3 main households (my own, my parents’ and my in-laws).
  • I am an extra-large. Besides being able to do the heavy-lifting, I also look intimidating. My wife knocked in someone else’s side view mirror once while I was in the passenger seat, and the other driver angrily chased us for a while until my wife pulled over. As I stepped out of our car to apologise on my wife’s behalf, the other driver did a double take, then said “Er, never mind. Doesn’t look like got any damage,” before practically running back into the car and driving off.
  • I like to muck around with websites and graphics, so I can knock together a not-too-shabby blogsite in a pinch. This is especially useful for my wife, since she’s a blogger as well. Mother of Xander was officially announced yesterday, go like it if you like it! (Her FB page is where Chairman Mao is standing.)

Most importantly, I am a dedicated father to my son, as my wife is a dedicated mother. None of who I am or what I do has any meaning if not for my family. So dads, if anyone ever, EVER comes up to ask cynically, “What are fathers good for?“, you know you have in yourself a damn good answer to shove back into their, um, Facebook comments.


    • Harng Luh

      Yup I agree. In fact @[740888071:2048:Wei Soon Lum] does everything at home – bath Amelia, do laundry, wash dishes, mop the floor. When we travel Wei Soon “wears” Amelia in the baby carrier coz she’s too heavy for me. My only saving grace is I’ve become a better cook than him after moving to Boulder! Of course when we were back in Sg I would spend much more time with Amelia on a day to day basis, but I think it’s not so much because he cannot or will not spend time to care for Amelia, but rather coz of working arrangements that limit his contact time. Honestly I think you are more involved in caring for Noah than many mums in Sg who work long hours and leave most of the caring to a domestic helper or grandparent, so yes you do deserve many pats on your back!!

    • Eddie Yii

      Yeah, need to give your husband a lot of pats on his back too!
      I have said earlier, and I will say again that the point of my post is not to tell pple I deserve a lot of pats on my back, but I am just trying to say that maybe a lot of Daddies these days are being misunderstood, and while we are trying our best to help out domestically, some statements are very discouraging……

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